Roots and Wings

It's like the best days under the sun
Every emotion rolled into one
A little of this, A little of that
Kinda happy, Kinda sad

When she came up to the group of girls I was talking to all I could do was look at her and wonder what happened. When she texted me today to apologize, all I could think was "why can't we go back?" On one hand I wish with all my might that we could go back in time to two years ago when things were simple and we stayed up to all hours of the night going from one conversation topic to the next. But on the other hand I long with every fiber of my being to move on.

"You can't have wings and roots, Mel."
"Maybe I could just fly south for the winter?"
-Sweet Home Alabama

I don't know how to have both or if I even want both. I want her in my life, but I don't want it to hinder the friendships that are in my future. I fear if things are mended between her and I that it will cause a rift between my future roommate and best friend.

I wish I didn't care. I wish I could just forget you. I wish this wasn't so complicated. I wish I could have roots and wings. I wish I could close this chapter with no regrets and no worries. But of course...life isn't that easy...and I do care. More than you will ever know. I still love you and wish we could go driving for hours like before. Before boys and family happened. Lets run away for a while...run away from life...please?

I secretly hope that when I leave this summer I could put it all behind me and when I start college this fall that I could start new friendships that don't leave me thinking about her all night...but something tells me that's not going to happen..